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Shameful Singles: Songs We’re Embarrassed to Love.

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We’ve been giving you cool music all month long but it’s time that we step away from the notion of dope and get a little honest. When we’re not playing hip and trendy, we moonlight as fairly handsome über losers. This means that in our spare time, you can probably find us picking noses, giving babies the finger and listening to songs that we wouldn’t be caught dead listening to in public.

Like a STD that we want no one to know about, we hide our love for these songs and keep them in a treasure chest filled with guilty pleasures. On mission to reveal the burden of constantly lying to our friends and family, we decided to reveal the Songs We’re Embarrassed to Love.

Some of the staff took to the process like a fish to water, others ripped it off like a bandaid and just wanted to get it over while some of the staff still wanted to be seen in public and take a temporary vow of silence.

They’ll surely come around but for now, check out those of the staff who decided to come forward and admit their musical transgressions.

Francine Lucas → “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart.

Francine Lucas (n.) dance maniac; fashion pervert; purveyor of Noise & Ambition.

“When first questioned on my ultimate guilty pleasure the immediate response was Katy Perry’s “Fireworks”.  A day or two passed and I realized my oversight. Katy Perry can’t compare to the overwhelming sense of joy I receive from Rod Stewart’s “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy”. Whether driving in the car, dancing in the shower, or strutting around in my room, it never fails to get my hips swaying and shoulders shaking.

The song is infused with the steady disco beat of the 70’s, with funky instrumentals, raspy vocals breaks, and a catchy hook. Stewart leads us through a whimsical tale of a one-night stand; it’s not the greatest love story, but one I’m sure many can relate too.

In a crowded bar a young man and woman sit across from each other both filled with hormones and uncertainty.After some time, and a few drinks, they decide to skip sexual frustration and get right to the act. Fortunately, when they awake the next morning, both exhausted from a night of thrusting and humping, neither of them are completely disgusted with their actions or partner.

They wake at dawn, cause all the birds are singing/ two total strangers but that ain’t what they’re thinking/ Outside it’s cold, misty, and it’s raining/ they got each other, neither one’s complaining…

Though some might object, I find this to be Rod Stewarts finest piece of work (“Young Turks “is a close second) when compared to singles such as “Maggie Mae” and “Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be Alright)”. It single handedly beat out Michael McDonald’s “I Keep Forgettin’ (Every Time You’re Near)” and Paul Cole’s “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” Not for its musical, lyrical, or production quality; but solely for its ability to get a party started, even if it’s only in my head.”

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Kiryl B. → “Rumor Has It” by Adele.

Kiryl B. (n.): columnist; self assured wordy dude.

“If you ask any true music lover, the question “What song are you embarrassed to love” will inevitably leave them stumped. Their taste is exquisite and their experience is broad. If they love a piece of music, there must be a good reason. To be honest the only music I’d be truly embarrassed to love is anything by Chris Brown. And in that case actual music would have little to do with it.

For me, essentially this question turns into “What song would you be embarrassed to rock out to in front of your friends.” And ever since I asked myself this question, the answer was clear: ‘Adele – Rumor Has it’.

A ridiculously catchy chorus combined with an enchantingly melodic verse make for an immensely addictive song. I do not subscribe to the pop music radio stations nor am i often in environments where top 40 hits dominate, yet every time I hear this song I want to fucking sing along. It is undoubtedly powerful. I would never sing along to it in front of my friends, or even family, but this song certainly has my number, as does Adele.”

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Jessica Manning. → “The Sign” by Ace of Base.

Jessica Manning (n.): fitness Nazi, closet carb junkie.

“I consider myself a well-rounded person, especially when it comes to music.  I enjoy listening to all different types – put my ipod on shuffle and you will find yourself listening to a classic hit like ‘Bump n’ Grind’ from R. Kelly’s 12 Play album, some American Idiot by Greenday or a smooth, soulful Euro ballad from David Gray.

I don’t blush when I have a few friends over and Britney Spear’s comes blaring through the speakers.  I don’t bat an eyelash when the ‘wow, wow, wow, WOW’ opening notes of Marvin Gaye’s ‘Let’s Get it On’ start playing.  But there is just one song (ok, maybe two, these artists have some catchy songs!) that does make me cringe a bit when I hear it.

But that doesn’t make me love it any less. It’s Ace of Base.  “The Sign”.

Anyone born in the ‘80’s or earlier knows this song; the group was a staple in the U.S. in the early ‘90’s and cranked out a few other poppy hits such as, ‘All That She Wants’ and ‘Don’t Turn Around.’

 Ah, but “The Sign”.  This song reminds me of simpler times, when I had my first boy-girl crushes, and how defeated I felt when the popular boy I was crushing on in 4th grade inevitably liked someone else – at best, one of my playground enemies – at worst, one of my best friends.

As I got older, this song came to be my post break-up, feminist anthem (this usually came after the tears and being heartbroken phase).  You’ve got to admit the lyrical content is pretty empowering:

“Why do I bother, When you’re not the one for me?
Life is demanding without understanding
No one’s gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong…
For so many years I’ve wondered who you are
How could a person like you bring me joy?”

And now, at 29, in a happy and healthy relationship (finally!) and on the cusp of celebrating my 3rd wedding anniversary, I really only listen to this song when I’m at the gym and need an upbeat tune to get me going.  And of course, only then, with headphones on.”

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Akeem K. Duncan. → “Bring It All to Me” by Blaque.

Akeem K. Duncan (n.): editor-in-chief, hated by the staff.

“I don’t usually listen to mediocre pop music but when I do, I listen to Blaque’s “Bring It All to Me”… fifty times over in one hour. Seriously, I’m a sucker for this fucking song and the fact that I’m even confessing it must mean that the world is really going to come to an end this year.

And I’m not just talking about the video version, I’m talking about the radio version featuring ‘N SYNC’s JC Chasez.

“That’s just the way I do my thang
I’m so for real…
Are you feeling my Tims, my baggy jeans
My thug appeal…
Do you like it when a man can keep it real ooh ooh ooh…”

For those who have no idea who Blaque is, I will give you a brief history. During the 90s, TLC was bigger than sliced bread. As a result, a lot of three pronged girl groups began popping up. I’ve affectionately dubbed them TLCs (The Lovely Clones) — because although they were imitations, a number of them were actually good.

In fact, if we were to rank them, I’d have Blaque coming in first with Total almost tying and 702 and 3LW coming a strong second and third. The rest were forgettable. Interesting trivia: Left Eye actually signed the group to her production company — can’t get more TLC than that.

I’m not alone in my affinity. Blaque, whose named stands for Believing, Life, Achieving, Quest, Unity, Everything, had a few hits during the late 90s that include “808”, “Bring It All To Me”, and “I Do”. So, the fanbase is there… somewhere.

Nonetheless, the group’s career stalled out of nowhere and they eventually called it quits.

No one knows of my love for this song. I usually listen it to during sunny summer afternoons and bright winter evenings — sounds specific but it puts me in a such a loving, optimistic mood that I’m left not choice but to enhance the experience with the perfect ambiance.

I sneak a listen on the train every now and again but never during rush hours for fear that someone might be in earshot and notice that the 6′ 3″ 280 lb. black guy is listening to JC Chasez talk about his “thug appeal”.

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Erika Quinones.→ “I Only Wanna Be With You” by Hootie & the Blowfish.

Erika Quinones (n.): culinary enthusiast; does a mean robot.

“I’m not embarrassed to admit that I like this song.  Well, maybe just a little bit.  But to be fair, it’s sung by a guy named Hootie–and his band, the Blow Fish, so one can see how this may cause a small amount of embarrassment for anyone who turns the volume up when this song comes on. Not that I’m one of those people… because I’m not.

*Sigh*

Alright I am! I LIKE HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH! And I turn the volume up on this song.

Don’t judge me.  I’m a sucker for Darius McCray admitting in his nasally way, that this woman–as different from each other as they may be, has got him smitten.  Nothing melts a girl’s heart more than a man declaring his love for her. Especially if he’s doing it wearing a plaid shirt, and strumming a guitar.”

About The Quiet Lunch.

The Quiet Lunch.
Quiet Lunch is a grassroot online publication that seeks to promote various aspects of life and culture with a loving, but brute, educational tinge. When we say, “Cerebral Sustenance Daily,” we mean it.

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